Know Your Mario Stars
by Bowser Jr. Nutt
Summary: It's know your stars, Mario style! The evil voice is as...evil...as ever, and has decided to torture, uh, I mean interveiw the Mario characters. Please R&R! Ideas Are Accepted! Chapter 19 up! I'm back, baby!
1. Mario

-1**Mario**

Mario: Okay, I'm here for the free food!

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Mario: Well? Where's my free food!

_There is none…_

Mario: What do you mean there's none you cheap bastard! What kind of sorry ass tells someone there's free food somewhere when there really isn't!

_Mario, he's a fashion model…_

Mario: I am not a fashion model you freaky voice!

_Of course you are, why else would you be forced to where that?…_

Mario: Because I'm a plumber, dumb-ass!

_If you're a plumber, then where's your plumber's crack?…_

Mario: I am not going to show you my crack you f'n toucher!

_Well if you don't have one I guess your not a plumber…_

Mario: That's it!

He pulled down his pants just as peach, a news cameraman, and a bunch of first graders on a field trip walked in. Mario looked up and gasped.

First grader: Cool!

Then all of the first graders started to pull their pants down while the cameraman's tape was rolling.

Teacher: Just what do you children think you are doing!

First grader: We're showing our plumber's cracks!

Peach: Mario! You horny, child raping ass-hole!

First grader: Hey, I never heard that word before…but it sounds cool!

Soon all of the kids where singing it as the cameraman was getting the live print.

_Mario, he's cheating on Peach for Wario…_

Mario: How did you find out!

Mario slapped a hand to his mouth.

Peach: You **WHAT!**

Wario: He had got a blowjob last night, how else should I put it?

Cameraman: This is the story of my career!

Mario: Uh, this isn't what it looks li-

He was interrupted as peach slapped him across the face and before storming out of the room.

First grader: Hey, that looks like fun!

They proceeded to slap each other as they left the room, with the cameraman following them.

Mario: Come out here so I can kill you, you freaky voice!

(imitating Mario) _"Come out here so I can kill you", you just want me to come out so you can bang me…_

Mario: I do not want to suck your lying-ass cock!

_Oh, your right…your too busy sucking Wario's…_

Mario: YOU INSANE PSYCHO BASTARD!

_Mario, he hates Onepiece…_

Mario: Oh, no. I've got your game! I'm not going to disagree with you, and that's final!

Just then Luffy, Zolo, Sanji, Nami, Ussop, and Chopper appeared, looking livid.

Luffy: Get him!

They all started kicking him, hitting him with sticks, cutting him, shooting things at him, throwing Gum-Gum blasts at him, and transformed into various animal forms to attack him.

_Now you know, Mario, the plumber's crack-less fashion model who sucks Wario's cock and hates Onepiece…_

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Well, how did you like it? Next up is Luigi, if you have any ideas don't hesitate to send them. Please R&R!


	2. Luigi

-1**Luigi**

As the straw-hat crew dragged Mario's lifeless body off the stage, Luigi entered.

Luigi: Do you guys have a bathroom in here?

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Luigi: Hello?

_Luigi, he stole that hat…_

Luigi: What the hell are you talking about? I didn't steal this hat!

_Yes you did…_

Luigi: Oh yeah? From who!

_The CIA…_

Just then a bunch of suit wearing people entered the room and tazzed Luigi.

CIA agent: Take that you hat stealing jerk!

They left and Luigi got up.

Luigi: Oww…

_Luigi, he thinks Samus Aran is prettier than Daisy…_

Daisy: That's a dirty lie!

Luigi: Yeah! I don't think that suit wearing blaster freak is-

He looked around and saw Samus standing right behind them, arms crossed and giving Luigi a death stare.

Luigi: Uh…yeah, Samus is prettier than Daisy…

Daisy: What! You freaky monochrome! It's go time!

Samus and Daisy started to fight for no apparent reason.

Luigi: You Spawn of a Fag! You must have been born dropped on your head!

_For your information, I was born in the deepest circle of hell on September 11th…_

Luigi: Come out here and show yourself!

_You just want to steal my hat…_

Luigi: You Freak!

_Luigi, he writes those Muhammad cartoons…_

Luigi: What the hell are you talk-

Just then a bunch of angry Arabs and Israelis appeared and proceeded to beat the shit out of Luigi.

_Now you know, Luigi, the Samus Aran goggling hat-stealer who writes Muhammad cartoons…_

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If you've read the news about the Muhammad cartoon upset then you probably got that. Next is lil' old Peach. Ideas will be greatly appreciated.


	3. Peach

-1**Peach**

As Luigi was hulled away by the mob, Peach entered the stage.

Peach: Oh, Darn. I'm lost!

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Peach: Who are you?

_I'm the evil voice of torture…_

Peach: You don't sound so evil to me.

_I just destroyed every mall in existence…_

Peach: NOOOOOO! YOU BASTARD!

_Peach, she takes her guards to the toilet with her…_

Peach: What? Eww! Why would I do that?

_To make sure you don't miss…_

Peach: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever-

Guard: Okay, Princess. Time for your bathroom break. And don't worry, we already have guards there to make sure you don't miss again.

Peach blushed red from embarrassment and anger as strangled the guard.

_Peach, she's a porn star…_

Peach: What! That's insane! Your just saying that!

_Oh? Then I guess all of these photos of you I sent all over the kingdom are fake…_

Just then, a bunch of photos fell down that had Peach -CENSORED- on them.

Mario: Wow, nice meatballs.

Peach: **I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, VOICE!**

_Really? That wasn't in your whore description…_

Peach: AHHH!

_Peach, she says Chuck Norris isn't so great…_

Everybody: (gasp!)

DK: Blasphemer!

Toad: We must sacrifice her at the almighty Chuck Norris volcano!

They all grabbed Peach and dragged her away, screaming, to the Chuck Norris Volcano.

_Now you Know, Peach, the potty missing, Chuck Norris hating Porn star…_

Chuck Norris: Did I miss something?

_OMG! It's Chuck Norris! _(fan girl scream) _We love you Chuck Norris!_

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Next up is my Favorite Character, Bowser Jr., Anybody want to give ideas are welcome to do so. And if I use your work, Your name (pen name) will be right next to it. So PLEASE R&R!


	4. Bowser Jr

-1**Bowser Jr.**

As Peach was being sacrificed for a worthy cause, Bowser Jr. entered the stage.

Bowser Jr.: Now where did papa go…

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Bowser Jr.: Uh……okay…

_Bowser Jr. , he keeps Porn magazines in his room…_

Bowser Jr.: What's porn?

_Well, err, I-um, well it's like when-_

Bowser: Hey Jr.! What are you doing?

Bowser Jr.: This guy is talking about something called "porn"…

Bowser: He what! Don't you dare tell my child that kind of crap!

_Make me…_

Bowser: Where are you!

_Behind that door that says CAUTION: HORROR MOVIE CHARACTER MEETING!…_

Bowser: I'm going to get you now you best-

He was interrupted by the sight of all of today's greatest horror movie characters around a circular table.

Freddy: …so I propose that we each get a different country to- Who the hell are you?

Bowser: Uh, a king?

The room door closed as screaming and laughing could be heard on the other side.

_Bowser Jr., he failed second grade four times…_

Bowser Jr.: Uh…I haven't even been to first grade yet. I'm only four…

_What? Oh, damn! This throws everything out of balance! Oh well, I'll just make it up as it goes… Bowser Jr., he has a crush on his sister…_

Wendy: What? Jr. you Bastard!

Bowser Jr.: What'd I do?

Wendy: That voice says you have a crush on me!

Bowser Jr.: Yeah, well he also said I failed second grade four times.

Wendy: You haven't even been to second grade yet!

Bowser Jr.: Exactly.

Wendy: …

She left the room.

_Uh, Bowser Jr., he ate- wait! Where the hell are you going?_

Bowser Jr.: Well, I don't have to sit here wasting my time being insulted by a voice that doesn't even know my age.

He left.

_Damnit! This was a complete disaster, I'm ruined, Rui-_

Bowser walked back in without a scratch on him.

_How the hell did you survive?_

Bowser: Simple, I grabbed a girl out of the door way and while they were killing her, I escaped. Hey, what is this place anyway?

The Evil voices un-seeable face grinned evilly…

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Sorry for the lack of good humor on this one, but I needed it to follow up on one of my other stories. Next up is Bowser. Please R&R!


	5. Bowser

-1**Bowser**

Bowser was standing on the stage, waiting for his question to be answered.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Bowser: Uh, you didn't answer my question.

_Bowser, he molests his children…_

Bowser: WHAT! YOU $#&$$&$!)#&!

_Bowser, he speaks with symbols…_

Bowser: That's only because I didn't want to anyone to hear what I was calling you!

_Sure you did…_

Bowser: You shut up!

_No…_

Bowser: GRRR!

_Bowser, he says he'll give anyone $2 if they kick him in the nuts…_

Bowser: Who would be stupid enough to do that for only $2!

Just then, everyone on the face of the planet appeared and started kicking him in the….yeah….

Bowser: OWW! You dip shits stop kicking me in the wiener! I mean it!

Doctor: Congratulations, sir, you're a girl.

Bowser: Those little shits knocked my cock off! OWWWWW!

_Bowser, he's broke…_

Everyone: What! You turd! You said you would give us money!

Everyone then started kicking him in the -CENSORED-, then went away.

Bowser: You pussies won't live to see tomorrow!

_Bowser, he got it on with Peach…_

Peach: Damnit, he knows!

Mario: What? You ass-hole! I'm gonna kill you, queer-knocker!

Bowser: Well…your fat!

Mario: …….Well, I know when I'm beat.

He walked off.

Bowser: I hate you, you sex peep'n voice!

_I could give a shit…_

Bowser: Your gonna be crying to your momma when I'm through with you!

_Oh, you mean you?…_

Bowser: YOU SUCK!

_Bowser, he says horror movies are gay…_

The Caution door opened and just about every horror movie villain, ( Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, Michael, Chucky, Pinhead, Hannibal, Jigsaw, Kayako (The Grudge), Candyman, ect.) appeared.

Freddy: It looks like someone could use a little…reassuring.

They started eating him, torturing him, stabbing him with knifes an machetes , chain-sawing his limbs off, summoning bees to attack him, and all that crap.

_Now you know, Bowser, the broke child molester that speaks in symbols and hates horror movies…_

Chucky: Hey, let's kill that voice next!

_Oh, crap…_

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Next up is Yoshi! Please R&R!


	6. Yoshi

-1**Yoshi**

After the horror movie charatcters were done killing off Bowser, Yoshi approached the stage.

Yoshi: (humming)

_Know your stars, know-_

Yoshi: Bwaaa! Who said that?

…._Know your-_

Yoshi: Bwaaa! There it goes again! Is someone there?

…_.Know-_

Yoshi: Bwaaa!

_Oh, shut up you pony-dino!…_

Yoshi: Okay.

_Now, where was I?…Oh yes. Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Yoshi: No need. I already have a map to the entire northeastern sky right here in-

_Not those kinds of stars, bug nuts!…_

Yoshi: Oh, okay then.

_Yoshi-_

Yoshi: Hey! That's me!

…_yeah…Yoshi, he's transsexual…_

Yoshi: Oh, really? And all this time I thought I was Homosexual…

……_Yoshi, He hates eggs…_

Eggs: How could you Yoshi! (sniff) I thought that (sniff) we had something real (sniff) special…

Yoshi: Please try to understand, eggs. I love you, but I need some alone time. You know, Yoshi time…

Eggs: Oh Yoshi, I could never stay mad at you.

Yoshi: Oh, eggs!

Eggs: Oh, Yoshi!

They hugged and kissed on the spot.

……_this is not right…_

Eggs: (gasp). Yoshi, who said that?

_Me, the evil voice of torture…_

Eggs: (gasp) Oh, so that's your game, is it? Well we're through!

Eggs slapped Yoshi across the face before walking out the door.

Yoshi: …….she digs me.

_Yeah…Yoshi, he's green from chloroplast in his skin…_

Yoshi: No! That's not true!………Mom says that I'm green because my mom threw up while giving birth.

…_Yoshi, he got that saddle from a My Pretty Pony doll…_

Yoshi: Yep! Aren't they just adorable?

_That's it. Either you get me someone else or I quit…_

The sound of walking could be heard as the voice left.

Yoshi: …Sheesh, what a freak.

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Hope you liked it! Remember, if you post me ideas and I use it, then **Your name will appear next to your Idea in the story! **Next up is DK…


	7. Donkey Kong

-1**Donkey Kong**

DK followed his nose to the dark, evil room, and lo! There were bananas in the middle of the stage! DK Hurriedly stuffed the bananas in his mouth.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

DK kept eating as if he didn't hear him/her/it/pickles.

_Uh, hello? Evil voice here!…_

DK stopped and looked at his bananas.

DK: OMG! My bananas are talking to me!…Cool! Now I can finally ask them how they taste so good! So, banana, how do you taste _SO_ good?

Bananas: Well, have you ever heard the phrase, "don't eat the yellow snow"?

DK: Yes.

Bananas: Well, in this case, you do.

DK: …………Of course!

_HELLO! I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU STUPID APE!…_

DK: Yes?

_Finally!…DK, he hates Bananas…_(thanks to **Starfighter364)**

DK: You ass-hole! I love Bananas!

_Do you even know what ass-hole means?_

DK: Of course I do! They're the holes that are made by shooting stars!

…_Those are craters…_

DK: Huh-uh! They're ass-holes!

…_That's a scary thought…DK, he raped Dixie Kong…_

Dixie Kong: He did? Oh. You horny bastard!

DK: Yes?

Dixie walked up and slapped him in the face.

DK: …This is why bananas are better than women. Isn't that right my little curved cuties?

…_yeah…DK, he wishes Diddy Kong was never born…_(again, thanks to **Starfighter364)**

Diddy: You sick pussy!

DK: Yeah? Well if you weren't around, I could have that much more bananas!

Diddy: That's it, cock rinse! Your dead!

Diddy then started to beat the shit out of DK.

_Now you Know, DK, the banana hating Dixie rapper who wishes Diddy was never born…man, I love this job…_

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Diddy is next! Please Review!


	8. Diddy Kong

-1**Diddy Kong**

After Diddy dragged DK's body off the stage, he returned to find out who said that DK wished that he was never born.

Diddy: Hello?

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Diddy: You only had to say it once!

_Yeah, well…your ugly……..Diddy, he bribed himself out of Super Smash Bros. so he wouldn't get beat'n up…_(thanks to **R.S. Lee**)

Diddy: I did not bribe myself out of SSB, dumb-ass!

_Oh? Then why do I have this letter from the Master Hand that say's you did?_

Diddy: Err- It's a fake!

_It is? Oops! Then I probably shouldn't have sent a copy of it to everyone you know…_

Diddy: You bastard! I should kick your ass for that!

_Well, Diddy, why kick someone's ass if your afraid to be kicked there yourself?…_

Diddy: I am not afraid to be kicked in the ass! And I'd like to see anyone try to!

Just then, all of the Mario stars ran in and started to kick his ass.

Diddy: WTF! Stop kick'n my cheeks!

Mario: Well you said you'd like to see us try…

Diddy: GET LOST!

They all ran away.

_Diddy, he stole a banana from DK…_

Diddy: Why would I steal a banana from that pussy lint!

DK: YOU STOLE MY BANANA! YOU MUST DIE!

Diddy: Oh shit.

DK hit him in he stomach so hard that Diddy spat out thinks that were already digested.

DK: Look! My Banana!

He grabbed the banana and hugged it, then kicked Diddy in the wiener.

Diddy: …..Oww……… I'm okay. You suck, voice!

_Diddy, He has a Yoshi shrine in his room… _(thanks to **Starfighter364**)

Diddy: What kind of sick freak would worship that idiot!

Yoshi: You like me Diddy? Well I'll show you how much I like you…

Yoshi then started to drag Diddy, screaming, into the door marked "bedroom".

_Now you know, Diddy, the bribing Banana stealer that keeps a shrine of Yoshi…Now…who is my next victim…let's see here…What the…_

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The next up is…a surprise….but I'll give you a hint, his/her/it/pickles/Ilikepie initials are M.B. . After that it's Daisy. See you soon…


	9. Mecha Bowser

Okay, here is everyone who got it right...

Bowser Jr. Nutt

...and that's it! Muhahahaha- What? Fine...lets do everything _YOU_ want to do...

-1**Mecha Bowser  
**

After Yoshi and Diddy were done doing……yeah…….The voice stared at the next name on his list.

_What the…….Mecha Bowser?…_

Just then, Mecha Bowser fell from the ceiling on to the stage.

Mecha Bowser: WTF? Y am I here, Dawg?

…_.huh?…_

Mecha Bowser: Who R U?

_The evil voice of torture…._

Mecha Bowser: wass'? Nice to meet joo. Im da Mecha Bowza.

……_I.M. talk…of course……Mecha Bowser, his uncles the tin man…_

Mecha Bowser: Wat! I Should PWN joo for that! My uncle's not da tin man, dawg.

Tin Man: wass' nephew?

Mecha Bowser: wass' uncle? How was OZ?

Tin Man: gr8t! We PWNed the Witch with wata, dawg! W00t!

Mecha Bowser: Coolio.

Tin Man: Well, g2g. We're off 2 see da wizard, da PWNtacular wizard of Oz…

…_That was scary….really, truly, deeply…Mecha Bowser, he will replace the Roomba…_

Roomba: WTF! Lets get him, guys!

Mecha Bowser was then attacked by thousands of the little robot vacuums. When they left, they left him cut, scrapped, and free of dust.

Mecha Bowser: Oww! They PWNed me, dawg! Hey, Im clean! W00t!

_Yeah, but your torn to shreds..._

Mecha Bowser: So? Im clean, dawg! W00t!

…_Mecha Bowser, he said he could….PWN…Samus Aran, the commander, and the republic army…_

Mecha Bowser: Wat!

Just then, Samus Aran, the bounty hunter, The commander with a halo army, and the entire galactic republic with the Jedi appeared.

Mecha Bowser: OMG! Samus Aran, the halo army, and the republic! You guys 00t!

He was still complementing them as they ripped him to shreds.

_Know you know, Mecha Bowser, the IM talkin Roomba replacer who hates those guys and who's uncle's the Tin Man…_

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Was this chapter unique or what? Please review, for Daisy is next!


	10. Daisy

**Daisy**

Daisy walked on to the stage.

Daisy: Ow! What are all these sharp pieces of metal doing all over the floor?

She was trying to figure this out when she realized that her brain hurt from thinking.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!

_Daisy, she's a weapon of mass destruction…_

Just then, Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and Peach walked in.

Luigi: Hey, Daisy!

Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!

As she spoke, their heads melted.

Daisy: Hmmm…now what could be wrong with them? Think, think, think…..oww, thinking makes my head hurt… the living does to…

……_right……Daisy, her tiara is made of plastic…_

Daisy: (gasp!) I'll have you know, it's made of polyurethane intertwined with graphite-substitute smelted with the ore form of mercury know as cinnabar!

…_..…doesn't that stuff cause brain tumors?…_

Daisy: ………Hi! I'm Daisy!

……_Daisy, she talks to movie character imaginary friends…_

Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!

Terminator: Austa laviest, baby!

Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!

The Mask: Sssssssmokin!

Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!

Jack Tollerance: Heeeere's Johnny!

Daisy: Hi! I'm-

Everyone: SHUT UP!

Daisy: Okay.

_Daisy, she's a part of this complete breakfast…_

Cap'n Krunch: Uh oh, competition!

Lucky: What do we do?…

Silly Rabbit: I say, we kill the bitch!

Coco bird: Yeah!

They all started to approach her with many sharp and explode-able objects.

Daisy: Hi! I'm Da-

They then started beating the shit out of her.

_Now you know, Daisy, the plastic tiara wearing weapon of mass destruction who's a part of this complete breakfast and has movie imaginary friends…_

Just then, the cereal mascots were thrown off as Daisy adjusting her neck, making a sickening cracking sound.

Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!…Hi! I'm Daisy!…Hi! I'm Daisy!…

_How the hell did-wait, what are you doing? Stop! Oh, no…Somebody help me! AHHHHH! OH GOD, SOMEBODY HELP ME! NO!…NO! STOP! HELP!…………_

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Hope you liked it! Toad is next, so remember **the only bad idea you have is one you don't send me!** So please R&R!


	11. Toad

**Toad**

After a few days of anti-Daisy therapy, the Know Your Stars studio was back in business. Toad walked on to the stage.

Toad: Wow! This place is amazing! I wonder why that creepy old man said this place had a death curse…

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Toad: OMG!

_Yeah, I have that affect on people…_

Toad: It's Jenifer Lopez!

An anime style fall could be heard.

_Toad, his mother wears army boots…_( thanks to **Dekadeci**)

Toad: You pervert! You're a sorry-ass bastard who looks under people's shirt just to get a picture of their cock, bitch!

…_colorful words…_

Toad's Mom: Yeah, and let me tell you! 'These boots were made for walkin, and one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you'!

…_Toad, his mom is that girl who advertises papa John's pizza…_

Toad: You screwed up, squirt shooting, queer-knocker! My mother does not work for Papa Johns!

_Sure…she's to busy being the toppings…_

Toad: YOU ASS-HOLE!

_Toad, he sold Peaches soul to the devil without telling her…_( thanks to **R.S. Lee**)

Peach: **WHAT!**

Toad: Um, err, princess! Uh, what are, um, you doing here?

Peach: You perverted ass-wipe! What did you sell it for!

Toad: Oh, err, something that will change the world and make it a better place!

…_a bag of chips…_

Peach then beat the living shit out of toad.

Toad: Owww…

_Toad, he killed Bruce Lee…_( Again, thanks to **R.S. Lee**)

Mario: (gasp!) OMG! He killed Bruce Lee!

Luigi: You Bastard!

Toad: What!

Just then everyone who could throw a good punch appeared.

A random person: You screwed up fag! You killed Bruce Lee! Get him!

Then they joined Peach in beating the living crap out of them…wait. Crap can live?

_Know you know, Toad, the soul selling Bruce Lee killer who's mom wears army boots…_

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Hope you liked it! Next up is…another mystery…but this time it will be easier. His initials are E. G. . Everyone who get's it right will be announced! After him it's Wario. Please R&R!


	12. E Gadd

Okay, first off, Congratulations for those who got it right! Here they are. (**bold is member** and _Italicized is anoy._)

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**Mona Lover**

_LenoKennedyIsSO----IngAWSOME _( hey! I am not a dumb-ass! Oh, wait…yes I am……Never mind…)

**R.S. Lee**

**Clockwerk**

**Lady Awesome**

**Fireblast123**

**BassEX**

**Queen B of Randomness 016**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Congratulations Everyone! And here is your honorary cookie…Hey, where did it go! It was just in my hand a second ago!……What?…Uh, What crumbs on my face?…….Please don't kill me!

**E. Gadd**

As Toad was dragged off the stage, E. Gadd came on.

E. Gadd: Wow, this place is, like, **_REALLY _** big. I wonder why they make bathrooms so big now a days?

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

E. Gadd ignored him and proceeded to do his business.

_HEY, ASS-HOLE! THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO TAKE A LEAK!…_

E. Gadd: Who said I was taking a leak? I'm droppin' a duce.

……_I have unkind images plastered into my mind…E. Gadd, he told everyone that Mario cheats on Peach._

Mario: How could you, E. Gadd! We had a document that said you would never tell anyone! See, right here!

E. Gadd picked up the document.

E. Gadd: Your right, this is a document, a _VERY NICE_ document…

He pulled out a Sporasub Black Viper.

E. Gadd: …and this is a loaded spear gun, a _VERY NICE_ loaded spear gun.

E. Gadd then shot Mario in the head and he fell down dead.

E. Gadd: You see, this is why fashion models get paid so much, because there's always a risk that a screwed up scientist comes along and shoots them in the head.

……_yeah…E. Gadd, he likes dead things…_

Peach: OMG! He actually told the truth for once! IT'S A MIRICLE!

E. Gadd shot her in the head and she fell down dead.

E. Gadd: Yeah, That's why my life's dream is to make everyone dead so I can love them forever, and ever, and EVER. And those who stand in my way must be eliminated.

……_sure……E. Gadd, he hates killers…_

The caution door opened.

Freddy: Oh, well let us show you the joys of killing…

Jack Sparrow: I like rum!

…_Wow, that was random…_

E. Gadd: I must kill you so you can be loved.

Jack Sparrow: You just want me rum!

E. Gadd: Argh!

They both started doing horrible things to each other.

Freddy: ……I got 10 bucks riding on the pirate.

Chucky: Yeah? Well my votes for the old fart with the over sized toothpick launcher.

_Now you know, E. Gadd, the tattle-tale killer hater who likes dead things…_

Candyman: Hey, he's still alive!

…_Oh, shit…_

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Hope you liked it! Next up is Wario, so R&R!


	13. Wario

-1**Wario**

After another two weeks of hospitalization of voice injuries from horror movie characters, the know your stars studio opened……again…

Wario tried to enter the stage, but he was to fat so he broke the door, and his fat ass landed on the near by secretary. No big woop.

Wario: Okay! I'm here! Now where's the $1,000,000,000 you owe me!

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Wario: Where's my money, cock holster!

_There is none…_

Wario: YOU ASS HOLE! GIVE ME THE MONEY OR I'LL-

_-Squish me?…_

Wario: YOU ASS-LICKER!

_Wario, he gives away money to charity…_

Mario: Wow, that's about as wrong as saying U2 is a bunch of racists.

Wario: You shit-fill! I love money! I hate charity!

_Really? Then I probably shouldn't have donated every cent you own to the poor…_

Poor-funds operator: I just want to say, Mr. Wario, we have never raised so much money before, thank you.

Sensing Wario's reaction, he ran out of the room.

Wario: **_YOU COMPLETE SHIT-SICLE, GAY BANGING, BASTARD!_**

_Ahhh, this is the joy of being an evil voice…Wario, He tripped into the grand canyon and got stuck. _(thanks to _LeonKennedyIsSOF---INGAWSOME_)

Waluigi: Yeah, and the media got wind of it. For two years he was known as, _THE FAT-ASS GARLIC-NOSE WHO CLOGGED THE COLORADO RIVER_.

Wario: Hey! That was only one time!

Waluigi: …yeah, and he thought it was the shower, so he was bare-ass when the press took snapshots. Everyone I know still uses that clip as wallpaper on their screen.

Wario: You dumb-ass! Why are you mentioning this!

Waluigi: Because he's paying me to.

Wario: If it wasn't for the fact that my ass is longer than my legs and arms, I'd kill you!

_Wario, he thinks Mona's a bitch… _(thanks to **Mona Lover**)

Mona: WHAT!

Peach: Whoa, your in deep shit now Wario…but then again, that probably always happens when you try to take a crap.

Mona made her way towards the blob of matter known as Wario. After she was done tearing his tits off, she went for the unmentionables. Everything else is X-17.

_Now you know, Wario, The canyon blocking charitable donor who thinks Mona's a bitch…_

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Hope you liked it! Next up is…….9-Volt! Please R&R!


	14. 9 Volt

-1**9-Volt**

9-Volt entered the know your stars studio. As he was walking up to the stage, he stepped on something that looked like someone's unmentionables.

9-Volts: …Eww…

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

9-Volt: OMG! Who are you, I'm 9-Volt, every one calls me that because my mom says I run on batteries but I don't know why she says that because I think I'm perfectly calm, are you perfectly calm, cause I think your perfectly calm with that faded voice like-

_SHUT UP!…_

9-Volt: …Well that was rude of you…So anyways you seem really really calm because your all like stating things so calmly like that so you must be really really calm.

…_A burden has been placed upon me…9-Volt, he hates NES games…_

9-Volt: What! I love NES games, almost as much as I love raping children, and this one guy says that I'm satin because of that so I took a shotgun and blew his brains out and raped his dead body but when I got home my mom asked why my cock was all bloody and I said because I raped a dead body so she like, calls these guys in white coats to come take me to this happy place and at first I was all exited because I was like, cool I get to go to a happy house, but when I got there it was all boring because they said it's not nice to rape people so I left.

……_I need an asprin….9-Volt, he wets the bed…_

9-Volt: Yeah and I was really bummed about for awhile but then I realized everyone makes mistakes, and mine was blowing that guys head off with a shot gun…I should have used a Weather bee because then his entire body would explode and that would be fun.

…_I got it! 9-Volt, I paid him to tell me everyone's deepest darkest secrets so I could tell everyone about him…_

Just then Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., DK, Diddy, Toad, Yoshi, Daisy, E. Gadd, Mecha Bowser, Wario (now without his manhood), Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Bitty the imaginary hippo who plays the keyboard and listens to techno music came out on the stage.

Mario: You ass hole!

Luigi: You humiliated us in front of everyone!

Peach: That's sucks!

Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!

_**Meanwhile…**_

In a galaxy far far away, Darth Vader was in the middle of a discussion aboard the infamous Death Star.

Imperial Officer: …But what if the Rebels fire at the core vent? The entire ship could blow up!

Darth Vader: (mechanic inhale) We have blocked off the vent and fortified our turrets. I guaranty nothing can destroy this ship. (mechanic exhale)

Just then, the Death Star blew up for _seemingly_ no reason.

Luke Skywalker: Hey! I didn't blow up the vent yet!……I still get the metal, right?

_**Back at the studio…**_

Mecha Bowser: I say we should PWN him, dawg!

Everyone then started ripping 9-volt limb from limb.

_Now you know, 9-Volt, the NES hating traitor who wets the bed…_

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Hope you liked it! Up next is Waluigi. Please R&R!


	15. Waluigi

I'm sorry this was so late. My dad grounded me and I couldn't use the computer… L

**Waluigi**

Waluigi walked on to the stage.

Waluigi: Okay! I'm here for the doe!

…_What doe?…_

Waluigi: You ass hole! You said You would pay me to mention the grand canyon business!

_Sorry, but I tend to lie now and then…_

Mario: Don't you mean all the time?

…_Err……Mario,…Err…He…said Atlanta sucks!…_

Atlantiens: Your gonna die, fat man!

Mario: Hey, I'm not fat!

Waluigi: Yes you are.

Mario: Oh, Yeah…

Mario was then chased out of the building.

_Waluigi…he steals Wario's underwear so he can wear them… _( thanks to **Queen B of Randomness 016**)

Everyone: ……Ewww…

Waluigi: Hey! That's not nice…

_Neither are lawyers…_

Waluigi: Oh, come on. They're not that bad…

Lawyer: I have come to sue you for everything with meaning to you.

Waluigi: Ahh! A Lawyer! It BURRRNNNSSS!

Lawyers head exploded for no reason.

Waluigi: Yeah!…Wait…No! My life insurance can't cover this!

Yoshi: Life insurance is for when YOU die.

Waluigi: Yeah, well…..I like eggplants!

Wario: I like Garlic!

9 Volt: I like children!

Peach: … That was not right…

_Waluigi, batteries not included, buy now!…_

Waluigi: Wha-

He dropped down, unmoving.

Diddy: Yay! I've always wanted some gay freak! How much is he?

_The unbelievable price of your soul!…_

Diddy: I'll take it!

He signed on the dotted line, died where he stood, while his soul went to the bad place.

Waluig: Hey, I'm alive!

_Waluigi, I am your father…_

Waluigi: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-

_Now you know, Waluigi, the underwear stealing great deal who's daddy is me…and who won't shut the hell up…_

Waluigi: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

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Like I said before, I'm really sorry this came out so late. Up next is Petey! Please R&R!


	16. Petey Piranha

-**Squiggles.Candi:** Okay, I usually don't comment on reviews, but I want everyone who reads this to know the answer to this question. **Baby Bowser is Bowser as a kid, **and **Bowser Jr. is Bowsers youngest son **(he has eight….that's insane). Many people make this mistake but I want to set it right, since it is my rightful duty to uphold the reputation of my favorite character………………………….Oh, and by the way, in Super Mario Sunshine, Petey is the big piranha-plant boss, he also appears in other games as well.

**Petey Piranha **

After Waluigi was dragged off the stage and sent to a mental hospital and then got a job as a note tuner to put his "no-ing" to use, Petey walked onto the stage.

Petey: Hey…this isn't the fertilizer store! Where are all the cows who magically make fertilizer in the secret and graceful art of fertilizer making? I wonder how they do it…

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Petey: Oh, I know all sorts of stars…Invincible star…and that's it. Where's my prize!

_How about a lethal dose of Sarin Gas? _(note: Sarin gas is a chemical weapon of mass destruction that was used on the Tokyo subway attack. It is also used by Jigsaw in the movie Saw 2.)

A yellowish gas seeped into the room.

Petey: Hehe, tickles………………….wait, did you just say lethal? OH MY GOSH!………What's lethal mean?

…_Okay, I'll just skip to the humility, Petey Piranha, his mom was a tulip… _( Thanks to _Sailormoon501_)

Petey: Really? I always thought she was plant.

Toad: Hey, so did I! But then I found out she was something called a Fungi, which is supposed to be the stuff that's between my toes…and brain cavities…

…_Who is sending in such dumb people!…_

Bowser Jr. Nutt: (whistles innocently)

…_I hate you…Petey Piranha, his head is a sex organ…_

Mario: He told something else that's the truth! Flowers are actually the sex organs of plants.

Peach: How would you know that?

Mario: …uh…Who are we talking about? (gulp)

Petey: You were talking about Politics.

Mario: No we weren't!….Were we? Oh, well. Republicans rock!

Peach: No, Democrats!

DK: No, Bananas!

_Enough! Petey Piranha, he's the main course for the Vegetarians convention!_

Vegetarians: Oh boy! Food!

Petey: Oh boy! Vegetarians!

9-Volt: Oh boy! A living sex organ!

E. Gadd: Oh boy! People to be liberated!

He got out his spear gun and started shooting everyone in the head.

_Oh Boy! Pain and suffering!…Now you know, Petey, the sex-headed, main course, son of a tulip…_

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Sorry it took so long! Next up is Queen Shroob. Please R&R!


	17. Princess Shroob

-1**Queen Shroob**

After the lawsuits were filed because of the E. Gadd incident, Queen Shroob entered the stage.

Queen Shroob: …………..World Domination!

E. Gadd: Hey…that was my Idea…..

_Know your stars, know your- Hey! Your violating your restraining order by coming here!…_

E. Gadd: Restrain this!

He tore his cloths off and ran off to conquer China with an army of rabid garden gnomes.

…_okay…I'll try to forget that just happened……………IT'S NOT WORKING!…Princess Shroob, she has a sweet, thin, intelligent sister…_

Queen Shroob: Are you sick in the head! She's a fat-ass child molester that can't even outsmart a star!

Other Queen Shroob: Your so mean! …but your right…I'm just big and worthless! Waaaa!

E. Gadd: Join me, and together we will rule the earth with a iron fist made of spear guns, garden gnomes, and some fat-ass slut with a handsome and sane scientist!

Luigi: Are you kidding? He's about as handsome and sane as U2 are racists, Iraq was a good idea, and Simpson is innocent!

_Why the hell is this happening to me! All I wanted to do was give pain and suffering to all of mankind, is that so bad? Is that so **wrong**? Well I hate you all! You ruin my life! _

Everyone: You have a life?

Peach: I would actually find that astonishing if wasn't the fact that I couldn't give a f-

E. Gadd: -uckleberry jam! I just love huckleberry jam! When I rule the world, Everyone shall eat huckleberry jam every second of every day!

…_I'll just continue…Princess Shroob, she married a Xenomorph_ (Alien)_…_

Princess Shroob: Yeah, but I divorced because he could never go a day without killing something, and the last straw was when that little brat sued just because he killed her entire crew, even though she blew him out into space!

Everyone: …

E. Gadd: He sounds like a very accomplished person.

_Whatever! Princess Shroob, she let the dogs out…_

Security guard: What! I'll kill you bitch!

He and many other security guards started attacking her.

E. Gadd: Awww…I wanted to do that…

_Now you know, Princess Shroob, the Alien wife who has a perfect sister and let the dogs out…_

E. Gadd: Attack my gnomes, attack!

A bunch of rabid garden gnomes appeared and started killing everyone. The police didn't help since they didn't give a f-

E. Gadd: -uckleberry jam!

_Stop saying that! I hate my life……and Lawyers…_

Lawyer: I have come to sue you for all the pain you gave to the readers.

_I did nothing to them!…_

Lawyers: Even if you didn't, We're still going to sue your ass off.

_NOOO!…_

Mario: I just love happy endings.

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I hope this made up for the last one! Next up is King Boo. Please R&R!


	18. King Boo

**King Boo**

King Boo walked onto the stage.

King Boo: Where the hell am I?

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

King Boo: You suck!

…_I haven't said anything yet…_

King Boo: I don't care, you suck!

…_King Boo, he got drunk in Mario Sunshine… _( Thanks to _SailorMoon501_)

King Boo: What the hell! Have you been listening to those cops? Because I told them I only had a _few _six packs before driving!

…_Huh?…_

King Boo: I swear, when I find those cops I am going to beat them done so hard I'd be raping them, you know what I'm saying? _Raping_ 'em! Get it?

…_No…_

King Boo: Well screw you! You and all of your fag friends, you hearin' me?

_I wish I wasn't…King Boo, he suffers from a sex organ devouring flesh eating virus…_

King Boo: I know, man! Do you know how hard it is, dawg? Seeing a foxy lady walk by and not being able to bang her? I swear, it is as messed up as my criminal record, man, and that's not the half of it! My father says I'm as interesting as my sex life, which isn't cool man! You hearin' me? NOT COOL!

…_King Boo, he has a hobby of yelling BOMB! In an airport…_

King Boo: I swear, man, that never gets old! Whenever I do it, People start running from me and then these guys with suits come in and starts kill'n everyone because they aren't paid enough, you know?

Mario: Wow! That does sound like fun! Almost as fun as yelling SHARK! On a beach.

King Boo: Yow, homie, that sounds of the shizang! You and me got to go down to the alley some time and exchange-

Mario: Panty hunting tips?

King Boo: …Yelling tips…

Mario: While panty hunting?

King Boo: …No…

Mario: While Watching some guy Panty hunting?

_Know you know, King Boo…frankly more than I'm comfortable with…_

Mario: Okay, okay, how about while going with a guy who's panty hunting?

King Boo: NO!

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Hoped you liked it! I don't know completely who's going to be next, so send me some ideas and I might just use it! Please R&R!


	19. Birdo

**Birdo**

Birdo walked onto the stage.

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…._

Birdo: …okay.

_Birdo, she was rapped…by the pope._

The Pope: She was some _serious _piece of ass.

Birdo: WHAT!? You can't insult me, I'm hot!

_Hah! That's a laugh…_

Birdo: Now look here, cum-wad, I don't think you understand what's going on here. I'm a girl. And in this modern day of opportunities, girls are on top!

_Honey, I hate to break this to you, but there's only one place where girls should be on top…_

Birdo gasped.

Birdo: Hah! Your going to have to do better than that you pathetic puddle of a homeless mans urine!

_Hah! I haven't even begun to be evil! Birdo, now in theaters everywhere…_

Mario: Oh! I've got to see that mov- oh my gosh! It's Birdo, the star of Birdo! Quick, grab her and sell her organs on eBay!

And everyone did just that.

Birdo: …oh shit….I think they took my cu-

_-tinuing my onslaught of abuse, Birdo, she is 100 lesbian…with Peach…_

Mario: Oh my gosh, that is _so _hot!

Birdo: What! Who the hell is Peach? And I am not a F---ing lesbian!

_Sure you are! Just look at your mouth! It is specifically designed to suck some serious p-_

Birdo: -lease! I would never…never….

She saw Peach.

Birdo: Whoa…your hot.

Peach: Whoa…so are you.

They began to kiss, much to the disgust of all the women in the room and to the delight of the men in the room.

_Now you know, Birdo, the lesbian who was rapped by the pope and is coming to theaters everywhere…_

They were still kissing.

…_Damn, that's hot!…_

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Its been awhile, but I'm back!


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